Poetry · self hatred · Self Image

Shut it down

SHUT IT DOWN

Once is enough

Twice too many

 Seeing things I regret piercing my mind’s eye

Praying they won’t happen again

knowing it will

It’s the realization of the child inside

that things end

And wishing they didn’t

Few know the inside

The one still banging stones on rocks

seeing which one will break first

the hand,

or the stone.

DIH 11/17/18

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anxiety · death · depression · Life · mental illness

A few days 

It will be two days until the Day my brother died. Some people may not believe it but he visited me. I was sleeping and I could smell his cologne and I felt like somebody was there and I was comforted in my grief. Kind a like when your dog comes back after he dies and you can feel him curling up next to you in the bed and you smell their scent and you swear that they’re there but of course they’re not. This is this is the same thing that happened to me two nights ago. I told him I loved him and went to sleep. I guess this was doing the twilight before you fall asleep. I miss him. I’m going to keep on missing him and I guess I’m going to keep on crying, but my heart aches less and my mind is not all there right now. I’m very anxious and I know this is the reason why, I miss him.