anxiety · bipolar · Meds · mental health · mental illness

The other side of the temporary

 

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**I’ve just realized I’ve been going through this shit since March! It started in November 2017 and peaked in March when Latuda quit on me. Crazy, no?**

I have always respected others decisions to take or not take medication for whatever their diagnoses. I have tried doing without medication for my BiPolar etc. I’m just one of the many who need meds to function in a stable state of mind.

I’m stable and am so thankful every day. I look forward to actually DOING things. I haven’t been like this in years.

I’m more positive without being a Pollyanna. I still have my dark side and morbid sense of humor, sarcastic streak etc. Binging on Penny Dreadful has been so refreshing for me. Something that has EVERYTHING I love about that genre. So well written and acted.

I still love TWD and gonna catch up on FTWD. So much TV, so little time.

I got rid of cable and find myself getting more things done. Kinda. Just finding new things to occupy my time. Pokemon Go might be a new addiction. At least I get to walk more 🙂

Instagram is also something I’m doing. Positive posts about mental health and life. Sometimes concentrating on mental illness can be depressing. I like saying mental health. Yes, it’s an illness that you can’t fix. At least we can treat the symptoms.

I’ve taken some pictures on my phone and some are good. I like nature shots and odd things. Not into portraits or food or thousands of selfies. I still have the self-hatred shit to deal with, but I’m making progress.

Did a lot of walking this morning. So tired. It’s hot. ugh.

Family drama. As usual, but I’m keeping my distance. Dyed my hair. Not the color I wanted. It’s a nice black with blue highlights. Not brave enough for the full purple locs yet. LOL.

Discovered what an incredible photographer Julian Lennon is @julespicturepalace on Instagram. Each photo moves me and inspires me like true art should. This is the way I feel about Van Gogh and Sondheim and Motzart. My soul sways and I’m floating at the beauty. It’s been a long time since something has moved me like that. I love the cloud photos and the water with the blues he plays with and the landscapes. I’m partial to his B&W shots too. I love B&W photography with the shadows and the pure stark reality. Can’t hide in candy colors. I respect that.

I don’t know names of painting or movements in music. But I know what I like. I love his work.

Haven’t been able to truly write for months. With the med changes, I could barely make posts here. I was just starting to learn Italian when it all hit. Have to go back to lesson one. 😦  I’m not giving up though.

Hopefully, that will change. My friend was editing some of my stuff until she had an operation. Have to send a Marco Polo her and see how she’s doing.

Ciao

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