Today is my writing day, no television, no video games. Just writing and a few rests in between. I’ve already begun, but have to make a short pause to call my mother. I call her at least twice a day, once at eight a.m and then again before we both go to bed.
So far, so good. Pulling out old notebooks and polishing up my current story and Mozart in the background.
I’m hoping and taking things day by day. I get so anxious about things, even if they are months away. I need to stay in the moment and just hope for the best. It would be crushing not to be able to attend the conference in June. But just having tried and having failed, is better than not trying at all. Plus it forces me to write more and quit screwing around with distractions.
I plan to add more to the blog about my progress. I have one story done. Which needs some serious editing and maybe a bit more background or clarification of character. I’m leading my second story into a decline or rather extending the climax. I think I’ll extend the climax and add some more dialogue.
With a day to work on it, I should make more progress. Which makes me happy. Something which is hard to attain at times.
Yesterday was particularly hard. All I could do was phase out and just feel numb.
So it was a nap and television and app on the phone day. That’s all I could handle mentally and physically. I’ve got a busy week ahead and weekend. I think I needed that bum day.
I was thinking about my brother yesterday, in April it will be a year since his death and it’s beginning to feel like he was never here. I dreaded this stage. He’s in my soul and I will see him again at the resurrection. These are my beliefs, you have your own.
So much time has been spent being angry at him. Now I know it is time to start living and shake those feelings away. Work on this book and hope for the best.