bipolar · depression · Life · mental health · mental illness

Depression and disappointment

I can feel it creeping inwards. I am slowing down, it’s getting harder to get things done and I tire easily. There are physical reasons for the tiredness, but I also have a deep yearning for SWEETS.

I want sugar. I’ve cut back on it and use Stevia now instead in my coffee. It’s probably some type of stevia mixture, its called Zing.

I use less of it than I did on sugar. This change has helped me with my Sjogren’s.

But when the depression starts too creep in, I just want junk. Sleep and more junk.

I know I’ve gained weight. But I don’t care.

I just want a dining room table. I feel like, if I could get a place to eat and color and write, things would feel more like a home.

So far, I’m stuck.

Thought I had it, but it was a giant CLUSTERFUCK.

Had to unfriend my cousin. Her content was trash, and I’m the one on meds. That’s all I will say about that one.

I feel pressure to socialize. So I’m gonna do it, so they will leave me alone. I just want to be left alone actually. I value my privacy and self time.

Away from the drama that people bring upon themselves, simply because they don’t listen or pay attention to past mistakes.

Right now my head is in two places. A potential conversation and the writing of this post. I’m not multitasking, I am simply confused.

People are draining. Life is tiring and functioning is getting to be very difficult.

Oh, and I see the dentist on Friday.

Aint life grand?


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