What has this mind been up too

I’ve tried to get my poetry out there, but it’s freeform. No real stanzas or form. Just thoughts and visions and ideas and some great stringing of words together. Creating image and emotion.

You couldn’t pay me to write a sonnet. Or Haiku. But if you don’t, they won’t pay you.

I’m trying to get others to UNDERSTAND what mental illness is, yeah it’s scary, yeah its deep and sometimes pretty fucking depressing.

But if you UNDERSTAND what I live everyday, maybe we can get some help to those who have none.

That’s what scares me, that’s what keeps the headlines roaring. Those of us who can’t get quality help, to help us at least LIVE.

I want to write a screenplay. Once I get the med shit straight and the mind is settled, I’m diving back into it. Maybe there I can make a difference. Maybe there I and WE can be heard.

Medication adjustments aren’t pretty, I’ve been thru too many. This is the first one that isn’t for BiPolar.

One med is for the Sjogren’s Syndrome. The other is the thyroid med. I have flares of pain and dizziness and just crap.

Its like a whirlpool right now, and I’m living it the best way I know how. moment by moment.

Dodged cancer. I’m kinda waiting too see what’s up ahead. What illness is in my future, but trying to avoid negative thinking. I’m so use to it, but it’s not healthy for me.

Love is for the movies, so is friendship, marriage and 3.5 children.

I accept that my life won’t probably be anything close to these images we are fed as children.

“I had a dream my life would be, so different from this hell I’m living. So different now than what it seems, life has killed the dream I dreamed.” – Les Mis

Always loved that song. Broadway.