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I can’t remember half the crap I write.

It’s more of a release of thought and emotion, getting it out there and letting it land.

Just so long as it’s not in my head anymore.

Anxiety has been paramount this week and I feel it will be for the next few days or months. Things have the possibility of changing. Good or bad, I don’t know. But change.

I’m not afraid of change, I welcome it. It’s the creating a new approach to breathing that scares me. And what I may leave behind.

I hate when you get those feelings of doom and gloom. I get them too often.

These days, I am living in my illness. I have things to do, I do them. I have quiet moments, but I am overwhelmed.

So my illness is pounding away and I’m  just making it.

I can’t future think, it scares me. All emotions are amplified and all nerves are on edge.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. But keep going forwards.