I can’t remember half the crap I write.
It’s more of a release of thought and emotion, getting it out there and letting it land.
Just so long as it’s not in my head anymore.
Anxiety has been paramount this week and I feel it will be for the next few days or months. Things have the possibility of changing. Good or bad, I don’t know. But change.
I’m not afraid of change, I welcome it. It’s the creating a new approach to breathing that scares me. And what I may leave behind.
I hate when you get those feelings of doom and gloom. I get them too often.
These days, I am living in my illness. I have things to do, I do them. I have quiet moments, but I am overwhelmed.
So my illness is pounding away and I’m just making it.
I can’t future think, it scares me. All emotions are amplified and all nerves are on edge.
I really don’t know what to do anymore. But keep going forwards.