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My approach towards life and my role in the world are changing. Sometimes I feel so defeated. Sometimes, I really could care less about the government and politics and world events. I feel and sympathize for those in need and victims of tragedy and violence.

But I guess I realize that all I can do is educate and offer support. The majority of people are self-serving. So, it’s hard when you find someone who really does care for other people. But, even they change when their life situation changes.

I’m distant from people I thought were important in my life. Not hung up on the past and people who have ‘done me wrong’. I’m not necessarily looking to the future, but more dealing with the now. Because that’s all I can handle.

If I bang the drum, eventually my arm will get tired. Because no one is listening. There are so many things I want to do. To help others, but my own illness gets in the way. Or my finances fall short.

I’m just surviving. I realize that, but I’m gonna make the best of what I have and leave it up to God. In that respect, I am not powerless. I have my faith, although slowly dwindling, I have my family and friends. I am blessed.

I use to want to join the Peace Corps. But my allergies kept me from doing that and my physical health. I really wish I could have done that… I’d almost forgotten about that dream.

Whatever happens in November, will happen. I will vote and hope for the best. But God has no place in politics. I firmly believe that.

I’m not saying I’m deeply religious. I just know what I believe.

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