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I’ve never been one to fall into the ‘guilt’ trap. If I did something, it was for a reason and it wasn’t some rash move. I use to always think thru everything before hand. Weighing out the pro’s and con’s and then make my move. I’m still the same way, I just move less. LOL.

The only ‘real’ guilt I have concerns my dog. I first got a dog when I got back from Grad School and I was in a deep depression. I got the dog to give me a reason to get out of bed, a reason to live. It worked. I walked her etc. All the duties and made the mental commitment to 13 years of service. But, she got sick and died. I think she was poisoned. It came on too suddenly.

Anyways, a year later my uncle died and I got another dog. I needed the company. I was terribly lonely and needed something to love. Now I have my Chianna and we get along just fine. But I feel guilty about not being a better owner/parent to her.

I wish I could take her for more walk/runs. There are days my illness gets in the way. I know eventually I’m gonna have to move and might not be able to take her with me. This will hurt, but I’m trying not to think about it. I’ll stick it out here as long as I can and try my damnedest to keep her as long as she’s alive.

But, because of this, she will be my last dog. Sigh. I love dogs too. But enough with the sadness. She’s here, I’m here. I’m able to walk her again and we’re gonna enjoy those walks.

Like I said, I normally don’t do guilt. I just feel like I’m not being fair to her, she needs someone who’s more physically capable of taking care of her. Oh well…

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