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My brother came back for a while. At first I was happy to see him, then I remembered how difficult it was/is to live with him. He has abused himself so much over the years, his brain is fried. Don’t get me wrong, he’s clean. But, it’s taken it’s toll getting there.

He’s ADD and other things. But he only takes certain meds and doesn’t do anything about the emotional problems he suffers from. We both grew up in the same household. Same father, so I know he has issues with that man. I use too have issues with him, but thru therapy I moved pass his verbal and mental abuse.

My brother still lives in the past. He still is mourning my sister’s death. Hell, I miss her like mad too, but after a while you have to accept it’s a process of life. He can’t get over the things that happened to him growing up. They weren’t physically abusive. Maybe it’s from all the knocks in his head. Literally, this guy has flown into telephone poles head first and is always falling off ladders etc. Whoa, miracle he’s still alive. Not to mention the two strokes he’s had.

I don’t know. I love him to pieces, but he’s difficult at times. Sometimes I feel like his keeper. Reminding him of things and directing him in the right direction emotionally. He’s the oldest and had the greatest amount of mental abuse from my father. So I understand. But you can’t let it rule or ruin your life.

He’s gone for a few days. Gonna enjoy the peace and concentrate on getting MYSELF together. I can’t fix my brother, but I can love him and support him without losing myself.

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