Was so f*cking disgusted this morning and so glad I had therapy. Been trying to decide against getting a new computer (layaway) and joining the YMCA. Can’t afford to do both.

Therapist got an ear full about my present mood and I decided that I needed to do something for myself to make me feel better about myself. Did a lot of walking today. Ate good, very low carb. No bread or pasta. I’m just hoping I can keep this up.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope not. I really want to feel good again. I’ve been thru too much. Operations, hospitalizations, deaths, disappointments, all kinds of fun stuff. I have to believe that good things are ahead for me.

And as much as I want them now, it’s gonna take some time.