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This right leg is like an alien. Found out I have a pinched nerve which causes the numbness. But what about the other pains going thru the damn thing? I have to take Tylenol to get some relief twice a day.

But I’m determined to move, to keep moving and loose some of this weight. I need some determination, some fire lit under my ass, because this leg thing just wants too keep me down and in the bed.

I keep shoveling crap in my mouth or not eating enough protein. My head says no, but then my mood says yes to the sweets. Really have to be more consciously aware of my food and what and when it goes into my mouth.

I have to modify my eating. Maybe come up with a written diet, so I have more structure. I work best when I know what to eat. I’m usually just eating on the fly and that’s where I make my mistakes. Gonna try this and keep taking short walks.

Sometimes I just wanna get away and stay gone. But where would I go??? All this family ripple effect is effecting me on a deeper level. By ripple effect, I mean their actions have a direct effect upon my life and relationships with other people. None of my own doing and I don’t know how to counter it, or if I can.

Maybe I’m just over reacting. I need to concentrate on now and what I can change and handle.

I’ve got to make some small term and long term goals and concentrate upon them. Things “I” can handle and change. I can’t be worried about the unknown.