There are times when the battle gets too rough. When your mind and your body have simply had enough. There’s this song called ‘No More’ from the musical ‘INTO THE WOODS’. That just chimes in my mind right now.

The whole play is about life. In my view. And it has nothing to do with baseball. Fairytale characters go ‘into the woods’ or the world to fulfill their dream, wishes etc. There are many incredible songs about growing up and innocence and loss and raising children. Incredible play.

It’s just that, I realize that I’ve been hiding my emotions and using food to comfort myself concerning my health. Mentally, I’m doing ok. I say O.K. because, if I were dealing with the issues, I wouldn’t be turning to food to solve my problems.

Luckily, my ‘female troubles’ can be fixed. But in the back of my mind, I think that the cyst is cancerous. I won’t know until after the operation. Maybe I’m being paranoid or just worrying too much. But, this is my big fear right now.

I’ve just got too much on my plate at the moment. I should be a wreck, but I’m dealing. Although not very well by my standards. My eating disorder is in swing and I need to stop it.

I kinda know how to get things in check in that department. But, I am so tired. I just feel like letting everything drop and saying. No More. Please. I don’t know how much more I can take.

Advertisements