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I can’t name the movie. But there was a scene with DeNiro when he has an anxiety attack. This man is pure genius, because I almost had one watching him.

I know my anxiety is at it’s highest when I can feel like I have spikes under my skin and they’re poking thru my back. This isn’t an attack, but it’s the first symptom ‘for me’ that something is wrong. Then there’s the tightening of my neck muscles, so tight, that my head begins to lean back. That hasn’t happened for a long time.

I know some doctors who won’t give out Xanax. But, I’ve tried everything else and it’s the only thing that works for me. I don’t abuse it and I’m thankful for it. I hate when I hear of people using it for recreation or dieing of taking it with alcohol etc.

It makes it harder for those of us who really need the medication. Like now.

Guess that’s why I can’t find Tylenol Sinus anywhere. Damn meth. It was the only thing that worked on my allergies, now that I can’t get scripts for half the allergy meds out there, which are now over the counter and expensive as hell. But that’s another subject.

Stress is a major trigger for me and anxiety. Often, I over think situations and that will bring on an attack. Worry, crowds or just anticipation.

I know some people who can do herbs, I like chamomile and tension tamer tea, but it really doesn’t cut it. St. John’s Wart is a no no, because of my other meds. Valerian too. Haven’t tried Kava Kava in a while. It’s hard to find now.

Here’s to a calm day as I angst myself out over another month. I hate waiting.