Getting a bit scarey

Irritable, isolating, tired, grouchy, fear. Not sure if this is my head or if I’m starting menopause. Not sure of anything right now. I didn’t think I would have to worry about this until I was 50, I’ll be 45 tomorrow.

I’m afraid of losing it during menopause. I had a great great aunt that did just that. Spent the rest of her days in a psych hospital. There’s some comfort in that, but it’s not living. Not by a long shot.

I’m so tired of everything. And almost everyone. I don’t want to address the possibility. Having no kids really bothers me. With menopause, I will never have children. I guess I should just come to term with that. I think something’s wrong with me anyways. Besides the obvious.

Doctors all month long. Why bother???


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