Not a bad day without. No mental pain, or confusion. The one day off, one day on thing just may work until I can get my samples of Deplin.
I actually left the house and went shopping. Crowds and all. I know now how my body needs the Deplin to work properly. That was Friday. It’s Saturday and I’m resting. But I feel fine.
THOUGHTS: I sometimes wonder if my life is a waste. I know not all of us are destine for greatness. Without the average man, there would be no ‘greatness’ to talk about… Or aspire too. I had so many plans, so many hopes and dreams. Washed away with the illness.
People judge me, because I can’t work anymore. Am I a burden on the economy? Do I feel entitled? I tried. I really did, but my mind. It left me.
I write about others opinions of me. But I really don’t live my life to please others, so their take on my life really doesn’t matter. I can’t control anyone or their thoughts or actions. I’m good with that… I don’t want that responsibility.
All I can hope to do is survive. Day by day, moment by moment. I’m still here and that counts for a lot. Considering so many of us are gone now. I can’t give into BiPolar. It doesn’t own me. It doesn’t define me. I have to remember that.
Maybe I’ll start writing again. Who knows.