There are many advantages to being ALONE. But sometimes the silence can be deafening. Which is why I got a dog. She’s good company. And a beauty.
There are times I find her company more appealing than human company. But, unfortunately we do need the human bond to keep from going bonkers. I have very few friends, I find it easier to handle. The simpler, the better. Less drama and all that crap. But sometimes, they are too busy with their lives to give me the time of day. Which is when I wish I had more friends.
But, that would complicate a simple existence. There are times I wish I had someone in my life. For all that romantic stuff. But, I figure, it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m getting older and am realizing that somethings, just wont change for me.
My sanity is more important. I’ve come a long way in understanding this illness. To the best of my ability and how it effects me personally. I’m not gonna lose what I have just to say ‘I’ve got someone’. I also won’t settle with an abusive, self centered asshole. Just so I’m not alone. I’ve been thru that too.
Sure, there might be someone out there for me. But for right now. I’m just trying to make it day by day. Or rather moment, by moment.
Alone is a beautiful word. I can embrace it, ignore it or totally obliterate it in my life. It’s my choice. I’m pretty much in control of that aspect. One of the very few things I have control over anymore.