Absent

I’ve been working on compiling poetry and editing a lot of old poems. Complete overhauls actually. I have some new ones which haven’t appeared on my blog.

Don’t know when I will be dropping anything new, but that’s why I’ve been away from posting anything. It’s a detailed process and very time consuming.

I come and I go. I’ll be back.

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Ownership

A year of the sun
wrapped in a net
passed around with despair.

Blinding in its captivity
I shall never let you free
In my mind or reality.

I've captured the Sun.
Netted the bastard on Wednesday eve.

I caught her sleeping on the other side of the globe.
Hanging as if nailed by God to stay put.

The net was made of plastic rings from soda cans
Abundant in their form, they hold Sol well.

I'll sit cross legged on a mountain.
Staring at my prize.

Burning my retina 'til cindered holes replace my eyes.
A small price to pay for the Sun.

DIH   03/09/19

Near Once, Never Again

I have found someone who gives meaning to my day
He is patient and forgiving
And yet he remains absent.

I need to tell you goodbye
To end something which never began
Forget someone across a Wifi signal

Lies and passion from inception

A stranger spoke to me,
And this fool listened.

Love does not flow in my veins
I have never felt its twinge
Longing for the emotion even an animal can give.

Today, I sit hallow and mindless
No more dreams of completion.

Faceless narcissits who love and manipulate.
Cry they miss you,
When it's themselves who are lost.

I was someone with him.
While being without.

DIH 03/08/19


Dialogue

There was silence.

In all its bitter rage.

Deep beneath the slight pounding of a pulse.

A whisper.

Delicate without pattern.

There is one word, and then another.

Each with singular meaning, and identical result.

The whisper grows to a sound.

The sound becomes a word.

One which threatens.

Promises and battles within my hands grasp.

Monologues, which play like a skipped record.

Surrounding my actions.

A whispering pulse begins to quicken.

My clutch tightens.

Beginning so silently.

The swirling roar of a blood flow pounds in my ears.

A hand steadies and slides quick.

Releasing a whisper.

DIH 03/05/19

Crackle

Wherever I turn, becomes a brick wall.
I smash my skull and bruise my soul.
The attention I seek eludes my sight.
Do I ask too much of someone so trite?
 
You know the feeling.
I am the symptom.
You blindly inflict it upon me.
Encouraging the torture in my mind.
 
Ignore the obvious, you refuse to speak.
Compounding the impervious thickness of your gall.
 
I offer, and you refuse
I give, and you reject
The glass splinters, and I crash.

DIH 2005

Harassment I

Harassment I

When I held your head in my arms

I was harassing you

When I listened to your tears through the receiver

I was harassing you

When I offered my life, so you could have your soul mate in your arms again

I was harassing you

When we drank all night and passed out on separate beds, and in the morning I gently kissed your cheek goodbye

I was harassing you

When I listened to your fears and calmed your violent soul

I was harassing you

My gestures of kindness and honesty are dismissed

You trust me with words unspoken to others

You offer no explanation

I place no judgment

Never physical

Emotional hugging, caressing and belonging

I am harassing you.

Valen…

I just felt my heartbreak and I don’t know why.

It could just be anxiety.

I have Xanax lying nearby.

Something tells me different

Like I lost someone’s soul

Things just feel lonelier than they did earlier this morn.

I want to kneel and fall.

Curl up in a ball and expunge this feeling of dread.

It comes from my heart this time.

I’m sure it’s not my head.

You can never tell with this illness

Fantasy from fact.

Did my heartbreak early this morning?

Or was it an anxiety attack.

DIH 02/14/19